RAISING KIDS WHO CARE

Once upon a time there was a family of four. They lived happily together in a big house on a knoll in Brentwood (or Bel Air or Beverly Hills or Holmby Hills). They were prosperous and blessed by good health and an abundant lifestyle. They loved their children dearly and paid every good attention to raising them in a loving way, doting on their every need. Endless hours went into planning their education, their playdates with friends, their food, clothing and toys. The children were happy, loving, healthy and intelligent and the parents were very proud of them.

But all was not well in Camelot. The parents knew, because they read the newspapers and watched the eleven o’clock news that their perfect little cocoon of happiness and contentment was not exactly typical of the rest of the world. They knew that a million children each year are abused or neglected in the United States and that 1000 die. They knew that 3.5 million men, women and children sleep homeless in their great country, 39% of them being children. They knew terribly ill little kids fight hideous diseases, that 13 million American children live in poverty and… that very few others were as fortunate as their family. They knew the top 1% of Americans earn as much as the bottom 38% combined. Their eyes were wide open. They knew these things well, and so it had been important since the time they met and began to flourish in wealth and in life generally that they share as they could and try to make the world a better place for those less fortunate living around them. These two wonderful grown-ups gave generously to charity, recycled, mentored, attended events, big-brothered, big-sistered and put themselves out for the general good however and wherever they reasonably could.

But the same was not yet true for their two much loved children. It was not that they were spoiled or that they had a bad bone in their little bodies. On the contrary, they had great compassion for the weak and the suffering, witness the procession of stray animals, wounded birds and much adored pets in, on and around these children’s lives. And on one occasion in kindergarten, they had seen their daughter take the hand of a crying child and say, “I’ll be your friend”. But what these two wonderful kids did not have at all was any knowledge of the magical stardust we call charity. The Mom and the Dad felt terribly challenged trying to find for their children any whichway opportunities to be charitable, to act charitable or to give charitably. What was to be done?

It was not as if their nine-year-old daughter was going to regularly volunteer ten hours a week in a soup kitchen nor that their thirteen-year-old son would be easily assisting with repeated special visits to entertain seriously ill children his own age. They needed to work within the limits imposed by busy schedules and active lives. But they needed to do something….they realized their children were fully aware of the latest clothing on offer at Robinsons but much less aware of the needs of those less fortunate living around them.

And then they found a book. It wasn’t just any book but a rather special volume, big, bold and impressive. It was called “The Giving Book” by a lady called Ellen Sabin and it claimed to “open the door to a lifetime of giving”. So they opened it up and saw that there was a letter from parents to their children in the front just itching to have the names of each added: Dear ________; Because you are such a nice, wonderful, kind and caring person I am giving you this Giving Book. When you use it you will be making the world a better place, making many people happy and healthy and making me very proud of you. You can use this book to help so many people because you - and your actions - are powerful. You make a big difference because you are so special. Love from, _________.” They saw in the book a whole system described in child-friendly terms to enable children to understand charity, to do charity and to make charity a part of their own lives.

“Yes!” they shouted at each other, “Here’s what we’ve been looking for!” This was a fully integrated plan designed for kids between six and eleven or so, a kind of scrapbook of charitable achievements, suggestions and activities. And so they bought it….in fact they bought two…

The book helped their precious children to record their ideas, dreams and wishes for the world. It made them the author of their own charitable story and helped them create their journey into compassion, philanthropy and the power of their own actions. The kids loved it. The parents were proud of them and it made all four of them appreciate the magnificent lives that hard work, skill, intelligence, and luck had created for them. They lived happily ever after. So did the people around them that they helped. And the planet smiled.

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Peter Samuelson is founder of the Starlight-Starbright Foundation (http://www.slsb.org/) and of First Star (http://www.firststar.org/). He lives in Holmby Hills with his wife and four children and in his civilian life is a film producer. He can be reached at petersam@who.net. The Giving Book is available in bookstores or from http://www.wateringcanpress.com/